Open and Closed Adoption

When considering adoption, one concept that is frequently discussed is an open adoption versus a closed adoption.

Closed Adoptions

Closed adoptions are the stereotypical adoptions. Information about the birth parents and adoptive parents is kept anonymous and neither set of parents knows anything identifiable about the other set. Only under very special circumstances as spelled out by a family law lawyer will the child gain access to any identifying information about his or her birth parents.

Open Adoptions

Open adoptions tend to be widely misunderstood. Often people think that an open adoption runs a high risk of being challenged or that the birth parents will be fighting for visitation or custody later. An “open adoption” is every bit as legal and as solid as a “closed adoption.” However, in an open “adoption” some information is exchanged about the two sets of parents. An open adoption can be as open as the parties wish it to be. A family law lawyer can help both sets of parents decide what is best for everyone involved.

In some cases, the birth mother is kept informed about her child’s life. In other cases, the adoptive parents do want the birth mother to be able to visit with her child. The specifics of an open adoption vary from family to family. Some people consider an open adoption with older children. If a child has solid memories of their birth family, it may be traumatic for them to no longer be allowed contact with them. In some cases, the birth family was violent or otherwise unhealthy and it would be unwise to allow the child to maintain contact. Your family law lawyer can make a suggestion on what is best for the child.

After scientists mapped the human genome, our understanding of genetics and medicine changed. Some people are choosing to have an open adoption so that the child may have a better understanding of his or her medical family history. Others choose an open adoption because they already know the birth mother.

Closed Adoption Mothers

Some people want a closed adoption but also want the birth mother to receive letters or pictures about her child. This can be arranged if both parties agree. The information and pictures would be exchanged through a third party who will keep all of the private information private. On the flipside, an open adoption does not guarantee updates and pictures. The level of contact between the two sets of parents is completely dependent upon what the parties agree on through their family law lawyers, what the laws of the state are and if there is an adoption agency involved. Some agencies allow more than others.

Family Circumstances

Something that needs to be considered when debating an open or closed adoption is the circumstances around which the child came up for adoption. A child that was pulled from the birth home by Child Protective Services or a child that was originally reared in a violent or abusive home may need little to no contact with the birth family. In cases like this, it may be wise to speak to the social worker who worked with the child. Your family law lawyer can help you determine if an open or closed adoption would be best for your family.

In addition to factoring in the age and background of the child, you may want to consider a few other questions.

• How will the child explain to their friends the special situation of their family? This is something to be considered with any adoption but an open adoption that allows contact between the sets of parents requires more pondering.
• How will you help the child cope if the birth family suddenly and unexpectedly breaks off contact? If a child is already dealing with feelings of being unwanted due to being offered for adoption, how will these feelings change if the child believes they are being rejected a second time?
• Exactly what kind of role do you want the birth parents to fulfill in the child’s life? When people seek adoption, they want to open their homes to a child in need. Many people make decisions based upon emotion and feel pressured to agree to anything in order to have a child to love and care for. Your family law lawyer will advise you and they don’t mind being the bad guy if they have to be. Basically, it is all right to tell someone you cannot agree to their terms because your family law lawyer won’t let you. They can also help provide some emotional distance from the situation.

When to Consider Open Adoption

Another time to consider an open adoption is when you are adopting a relative’s child. These are not the type of adoptions people normally consider when they think of adoption. By virtue of the situation, these adoptions tend to default into being open adoption. However, something that needs to be discussed with the birth mother is if the child will be informed that they are adopted and if so, at what age?

At one time, practically all adoptions were closed adoptions. International adoptions are almost exclusively closed adoptions. Open adoptions are becoming more popular. Just because it is popular, however, doesn’t mean that it is the right decision for your family.

Receiving Help From a Family Law Attorney

Regardless of if you choose an open or a closed adoption, you will follow the same basic steps of adoption that your family law lawyer will explain. For all adoptions, it is illegal to pay for the child but it is acceptable to cover the birth mother’s medical or legal expenses. If the child is an older child, there may not be many medical expenses. All adoptions run the risk of being challenged if fraud or coercion is used to force the adoption.

Please call us today at 281-210-0010 or complete our contact form and let us assist you with your legal need.