Child Custody Made Simple

Child custody decisions are often the most stressful and trying part of any divorce. It is in the best interest of children that the process goes as smoothly and quickly as possible. Lengthy child custody battles can cause a great deal of stress in children which is sometimes evidenced in behavior, attitude and school performance. The systems that are in place with regard to child custody help to streamline the process but it does take a little time. If both parties are able to discuss the situation rationally and perhaps compromise a little, child custody can be resolved as quickly and painlessly as possible. This is often best for both parents and children as it minimizes both the stress and the cost of the process. Drawn out custody battles can be quite damaging to children and should be avoided where possible

Child Custody Decisions

Child custody decisions tend to be resolved for the most part in the process of mediation. This is external to family court proceedings and will involve both parties and their family law attorneys working together to come up with a parenting plan that is acceptable to everyone involved. The fact that it is an emotional time where tensions are running high can make the mediation process extremely stressful. It is highly recommended that for the process of mediation, differences be placed on hold so that a fair decision can be reached in a timely fashion.

Joint Custody

Joint custody or joint managing conservatorship as it is also known is generally a given in the state of Texas. Both parents have equal rights under the law and therefore can both have an input into decisions regarding the child's welfare. Both parents can decide where a child should go to school, where they should receive health care and can be involved in living arrangements. Theoretically, joint custody sounds like the fairest option but in reality, it is a little more complicated. It is unlikely that children will be spending an equal amount of time with each parent. While both parents may be involved in parenting decisions, it is likely that one parent will fall into the role of primary caregiver. What joint custody really means is that both parents will have an input into the decisions that affect the child. Parents' respective responsibilities will be outlined in a parenting plan.

Living Arrangements

How will living arrangements be determined? A number of factors are involved in the decision that determines the parent with whom a child or children will reside. The biggest factor in this determination is the parent that has been the primary caregiver in the time leading up to the divorce. It is usually most reasonable to assume that the person that has been the primary caregiver prior to the divorce is the person that will be most suitable to take on those duties following divorce. Employment has a major role to play in this decision. If one parent must work irregular hours, frequently travel or spend an inordinate number of hours in the office then they may not be able to provide a stable environment for the child or children. Living environment factors into the decision as can the opinions of the child or children. Children over the age of twelve may sign an affidavit indicating their preference as to which parent they would like to reside with. Children over the age of ten will be interviewed upon request of one or both parents and in certain circumstances so to will younger children. The aim of all of this is to provide the best living environment for the child.

Extenuating Circumstances

• Sexual or Physical Abuse

There are extenuating circumstances that can be determining factors in child custody decisions. Custody, joint or otherwise, is unlikely to be awarded to a parent that has been responsible for sexual or physical abuse. Such parents would almost certainly be deemed to be unsuitable for custodianship and a danger to a child or children. Depending on the circumstances, visitation may be possible but rights would likely be subject to certain conditions.

• Relocation

Another extenuating circumstance that can affect child custody proceedings is relocation. In the event that one parent must relocate, custody decisions tend to become more complicated. Both parents have a right to have access to their child but there are times that relocation is necessary. In cases where a parent desires to relocate with children, the family court will try to ascertain the reasons behind the move. If the reasons are valid then arrangements will need to be made to ensure that the parent that stays behind has adequate access to their child or children. This may require guarantees of telephone time, travel arrangements and even video contact by means of the internet.

Lack of Child Custody

Remember, lack of child custody does not mean lack of access. Parents are entitled to access to their children and that is what parenting agreements are all about. If a child will primarily reside with one parent then it is reasonable that the other parent has access to their children. This might mean that the child or children reside with the other parent on weekends or a certain period of time after school. In practice, parents usually need to allow for a certain degree of flexibility but as long as the non-custodial parent has reasonable access to their children both parties should be happy.

Coming to a parenting agreement can be very trying for divorcing spouses but in situations where it can be done amicably it can be very useful for determining parenting roles. Following divorce, ex-spouses both share the responsibility for the wellbeing of their children. Joint parenting requires a certain amount of contact between ex-spouses and coming to a parenting agreement lays the groundwork for that contact. Dealing with "child custody" is perhaps the most difficult step in any divorce but it can also be one of the most important steps in moving forward to a satisfactory post-divorce life.  

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